People Pleasers in Therapy

People Pleasers in Therapy

And I love them all! Therapy isn't an easy thing to do for anyone. But, as people pleasers their tends to be some unique challenges of showing up authentically because of our "need to be like". Ahem.. or should I say because of the unique way we learned to protect ourselves. Going to therapy, being vulernable, and risking being seen for our true inner self is scary but rewarding work.

If you "protect" your loved ones from being seen as "bad guys" by your therapist, this is something to explore potentially. Maybe ask yourself, "what am I worried will happen if I share this with my therapist?" or "What is the benefit to me for leaving out these details?" Often times, once a person feels safe enough with a therapist, they will start to feel safe enough to share this previously guarded information.

The one who needs to break up with their therapist. Whether you aren't vibing or whether you feel like you just need a break, having that conversation is hard for many people. Sometimes, the act of bringing up how difficult the conversation is to start with your therapist is actually really helpful to get to what's underneath! If you aren't a good fit together, this is even more urgent to initiate because you don't want to waste your own time or energy. Research shows the most important factor for positive therapy outcomes is the relationship you have with your therapist! Find someone who works better for you!

The one who feels anxious about whether their therapist likes them or not. This is basically the definition of people pleasing. I SEE YOU. I've actually had a therapist where I couldn't tell if she even like me! If your therapist is coming of "cold" and its feeling unsettling, you can always search out a better fit to find someone who is "warmer" towards you. If this is how you always feel about new people, hang in there! Be willing to share these specific thoughts with your therapist because those are HUGE opportunities to connect and heal!