From a Licensed Therapist: How to Heal from Childhood Emotional Neglect

From a Licensed Therapist: How to Heal from Childhood Emotional Neglect

Healing from Emotional Neglect in Cleveland Ohio

In Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson describes emotional

neglect as when parents are afraid of genuine emotional connection and avoid being emotionally

close to their children.

This rejection can be a painful emotional experience, but how normal it feels to those who live it

may complicate matters. Rather than experiencing this as neglect, it may have felt like your

family was quirky or different. This can lead to confusion, and you may feel like there’s no

reason for how emotionally out of control you feel.

What are the effects of childhood emotional neglect?

Because childhood emotional neglect can be invisible, the effects can be much harder to

recognize and manage. Still, there are some recognizable patterns. Do these sound familiar to

you?

 Feeling empty or alone: Dr. Gibson calls this “the loneliness of feeling unseen.”

It may feellike no one understands you or is ever able to get to know you.

Repeating the same kinds of relationships: You may end up having complicated

friendships and interpersonal relationships that are a lot like the ones you had with your

parents.

People pleasing: It may feel like you have to make yourself likable, helpful, or appealing so

that you’ll matter or be noticed. You may also have trouble setting firm boundaries with

people because it feels easier to avoid conflict.

Perfectionism: It may feel like things would be easier if you just got everything right or did

everything perfectly.

Not trusting your instincts: It can be hard to trust yourself when your parents never

acknowledged your emotions. You may have trouble trusting your instincts, believing your

feelings are valid, or recognizing your needs.

 Low self-confidence: You may generally struggle with self-esteem and self-confidence, even

to the point of feeling burdensome. Being confident is difficult when no one has ever

recognized your emotional needs.

 Overwhelm: It may feel like you’re obligated to help everyone, even though you’re running

on empty or have no energy left for anything.

 Trying to disappear: It may feel easier to appear to have no needs, and you may try your

best to never ask for help.

Issues like these can be so debilitating that they can even reinforce themselves. Sometimes

people have trouble getting help for the very reasons that they know treatment would help them.

For instance, even wanting to feel better than they do may cause incredible guilt, even to the

point that it feels like you are betraying your family by seeking help.

How do you heal from emotional neglect?

Noticing and giving yourself permission to feel your pain is the first step. Sometimes it can feel

like other people have had it worse, but you deserve to own your pain and heal from it.

 

In therapy, I invite clients to explore how childhood experiences may be affecting their lives

as adults. I welcome them to consider that any level of concern is enough of a reason to get the support they need .

I provide a space that is warm, inviting, and safe . I love to give my clients the support and nurturance they wish they always had. And SHOULD have always had.

I love seeing clients shine when they learn to they are allowed to have needs and are

worthy of healing. In the majority of my work , I use parts work and EMDR (as well as other

evidence base apporoaches to the people I work with)!

Not sure yet if therapy is a good move for you?

We can always set up a brief consult to make sure were a good fit together and determine readiness!

Does the emotional experience above resonate with you? If so, I would love to help you begin your healing journey. Feel free to call me at 216-302-1418 or go to the Self-Schedule Initial Appointment tab at the top of my page.

Interested in reading more about the effects of emotional neglect? See Why You Attract “Bad People Into Your Life” here

for more. I also highly recommend the book I mentioned above, Adult Children of

Emotionally Immature Parents by Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson.

Previous
Previous

Holiday Anxiety and People Pleasing

Next
Next

People Pleasers in Therapy